Question: I have 5 and 7-year old boys who participate in all regular season team sports. I am getting pressure to have my kids participate in the select/travel teams at this young age. I want my kids to play because they like to play, not because I pushed them into it. What is the balance?
Answer: I had a question that was referred to me by the Positive Coaching Alliance. They are a great organization—one of our partners.
I’m finding that many of our coaches and parents are asking the same type of question. My answer would be this: Most coaches when asked an opinion about their kids, they don’t look at it from the coaching side; they look at it from the parents’ side. My recommendations would be to watch your kids when they play. Are they always playing? Do they ask you to play with them in the yard or on the street? Are they always playing outside with their friends or are they inside playing with the computer or watching TV? Are they engaged with their play? Do they really, truly get involved in what they are doing or are they just going through the motions? The response doesn’t have to come from the kid, but what you see. Do they wear their soccer uniform? Would they love to wear their favorite team’s hat?? You can see if they are truly into it. Are they creative in their play? Are they free spirited in their play? Do they just want to play and really have a good time? And the last question I really want you to look at is are they enjoying team sport?
I’m going to be a wise guy right now. It’s going to sound like sarcasm, but listen to this. You ask the question, “my 5 and 7-year-olds, should they be more competitive?” You know the right answer, I really believe you do. The right answer is you’ll know that when you watch them.
They are five, they are seven. Just let them play. They’ll tell you when they are ready for more pressure and a more competitive environment.
